Week 12

I realise that this whole weekly blog thing is going a bit down the pan, and also that the rough estimates of the weeks are now, exactly that, rough estimates. But hey-ho, life goes on.

What's happening in my world? Well... I've been going to Oxygen recently and I'm starting to attempt to read the Book of Matthew. The idea is that I'll make my way round the entire New Testament at some point and when I've done that I'll read certain books in the Old Testament. Already read: Genesis, Peter, and parts of Matthew and Exodus. The Genesis and Exodus thing was when I attempted to read the bible, page to page... epic fail. Yeah, so I suppose this all warrants slight explanation but I don't really know where its going myself to be honest. I think I believe in God but I don't want to because not believing in God is a lot easier. This might all seem a bit sudden to you all in KL, hence pretending it isn't so is the easier way out. But that wouldn't be the right way even if it is the easier way. So, I basically think I'm at a point where I can probably call myself a Christian again. (In my defence, I did say this would happen. And it did.)

Which bring up the difficulties which I had before when I tried the whole gay-christian route. This idea of leading a double-life, and having a group of friends you are christian with and a group of friends you are gay with. So I'm doing my best to try and explain both sides to both groups of people. Trying to explain why the bible actually doesn't say anything about monogamous homosexual sex being immoral to my christian friends, and likewise on this blog right now explaining to you lot for whom I am your token-gay friend why I am christian again. I think I'm probably at least slightly insane, and probably have at least traces of a victim complex. Wanting to be a gay christian, madness. Probably what you are thinking, I would imagine. Well that's exactly what I'm thinking. But its who I am, I can't ignore this issue. I think one of the reasons I knew this would happen is because I knew that my atheism was rooted in anger against God for 1. raising me a Christian whilst simultaneously 2. creating me gay and then 3. leaving me to fend for myself against incredibly antagonistic christian fundamentalism that is rooted right at the centre of Christian media today. This relates to me personally because the way Christians are portrayed in the media is the reason why you're all wondering 'why on earth?'. Obviously the idea that my atheism was rooted in anger against God shows that it was somewhat flawed. To be angry at God, you sort of have to believe in him.

Onto much happier subjects: I am reading the book Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh. Its quite good but full of f and c words. Alice in Wonderland productions went really well in the end. I'm quite happy with my personal performance and there's not much I could really do about other people's performances. Having said that Wenesday was an amazing performance its just ashame all the other nights weren't somewhere closer to that kind of magnificence, then I would be really happy.

Monthly Assessment's happened again, for November:

English:
Mrs. Farmer - A
Mr. Giles - A
Drama:
Mr. Warburton - A
Ms. Lindley - A
Music:
Mr. Everhart - A
Mr. Arkel - B
History:
Ms. Hannah - B
Mrs. Coward - C

Mrs. Coward's C is understandable as I deserved it. I haven't completely turned history araound since my last MA. My last MA I got a D, which she gave me as a sort of kick up the ass. I haven't really done much to change that. I mean its been consistent and probably satisfactory, but that's what C means, isn't it? So no huge turn around. Next MA, it will be at least a B though. Plus, I don't really know where that B came from in Music. :/

I have to choose my tutor now, which is a bit confusing... I still don't know who to choose. I think I want to do music at University, I have a list of 3 people. Mrs. Farmer, she is a legend. Mr. Everhart, I really like Mr. Everhart and I can talk to him. Plus as he's my music teacher, and I'm thinking of music at University, that would be good. Then Mr. Bellis my housemaster said Ms. Rowles would be good as a tutor but then, I don't know I think she'd be good as someone to go to extra to tutor, but I like Ms. Rowles. So, therefore... but then I don't know, putting Mrs. Farmer first would be interesting because she can be quite intimidating, and I don't know whether she might be taken aback if I choose her as my tutor. I can't really lose by putting her as my tutor though. Plus, I like Mr. Everhart but I think he might be a bit lax and I don't want someone that will be lax, because I need that kick up the bum. Right, well there's that sorted then...
1. Mrs. Farmer
2. Mr. Everhart
3. Ms. Rowles.

Good. Good. Good.

signing out,

Geraldine M.

song for the week:

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee by The Cranberries.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGcHisWvmuo

I must admit, its not my usually happy stuff (which the music on here has generally been quite happy, methinks). Its a cracking song though.